Sleep....

No I never get enough, I'm sick and tired. Sleep... No I never get enough, if I don't show up I might get fired.

Okay, so i'm not that bad. I am exhausted... and I got more sleep this weekend than in a LONG time. But it was a busy weekend. Family's (Un)Thanksgiving/Christmas thing was Saturday. I should be uploading a few pics later but... meh.

I'M NOT DEAD THOUGH!

Sad day for the world

First Obama was elected and then Michael Crichton died on the same day.

/headdesk

Last night before I crashed, my best friend, Stephanie, and I had a fight. You see, because of our history, I was afraid to tell her about my relationship with Laurana. Not shame in my girlfriend in anyway, but fear of losing the one person to stand with me through thick and thin for a couple years now. For the longest time we were more than friends, and details there are private so don't expect a post on how.

The fight wasn't about Laurana, it was because I was afraid she would ditch our friendship over me getting a girlfriend. After so long and so many fights and hurts and yet she stayed (and yet I stayed too), why did I worry annd LISTEN to that fear? My worry is that she's gone for good now... But I can't... won't listen to that worry. Or else I take her for granted. I just have to wait for her to calm down.


I hate waiting....

Ramblings...

Sometimes, I wonder if Laurana can do better than me. She says no but sometimes I do wonder. Habits I have, things I think/say/do, etc all scream to me reasons she needs better in a boyfriend. Many things I am so ashamed of I cannot speak of them, I try to not allow myself time to think on them. But so often it fails. I wish I could bleach my brain to get rid of the vile and unneeded junk, to be pure for her. Alas I can't.

Why do memories need to be so damn complex?